I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this boner is exhausting
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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