We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize