I hope mine doesn't look like that
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
