How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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