Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
