dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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