I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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