Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
