Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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