Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
