return my video game
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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