Can Purell be used as lube?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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