Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
