don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
