don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
