Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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