im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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