She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
