Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
