i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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