nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
