thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
