are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize