i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
