I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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