Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
