Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
