There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
