brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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