Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
