the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Say something about gay babies.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
