I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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