It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
