After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
