He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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