I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
