I just cut my nipple shaving
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
