just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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