i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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