I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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