he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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