So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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