my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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