i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
