My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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