but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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