But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
