Whod you bang
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize