My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
