do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
