She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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