The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame