I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.