That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
