suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
