I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
