He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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