apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
