Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
