youre lurking in front of me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
