One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
