Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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