I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
this hospital has no fireball
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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